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The Glorious Leader's News and Comments are brought to you by SmartSpread! And now....Paul Harvey News and Comments.

Good morning Americans, and now -- news!

As we all know, the current situation in the Middle East is one of upmost importance. Our brave soldiers are dying there by the dozens everyday to secure our precious freedoms here. And yet, the remnants of the UN today continue to issue declarations against our righteous cause, our brave men, our indiscriminate use of nuclear warheads against brown-skinned subhuman fanatics in an attempt to make sure our nation and freedom as a whole stands secure.

Speaking of secure, Marilyn Stankowski of Minneapolis writes to me, saying "Glorious Ruler Harvey, I haven't lost a single night's sleep since I ordered the SleepNumber bed that you ordered us to get on your daily radio broadcast. I get a full nights sleep so that I can contribute to the arms industry of the Republic. Thanks, Chairman Harvey!"

Now in health news, the University of Wisconsin reports today that listening to this radio broadcast on a triplicate daily basis my enhance your life in the workplace, elevate your vitality and outward appearance in the Party, and may even save your life...

The most lasting piece of news from this day may be this: Those people of the world who do not side with me, the chosen God-Emperor will die a horrible and fiery death at the end of my Minutemen III thunderbolts.

For what it's worth, police officers in Trenton, New Jersey pulled over a man for being out past curfew and driving in the opposing lane. While staring into the barrel of a tank, he mildly raised his hands and said "No shoot me, I no terrorist!" and then laughed.

He was promptly blown to hell.

Paul Harvey -- good day!