A Matter of Principle
From time to time, we all are offended. How it happens is simple to understand. Someone takes something we believe in and either treats it something less than what we believe it should be treated as or simply calls one of us a fool for believing in it. At its most simple definition, it's when someone douses a fair bit of urine on what we happen to believe in, sometimes literally.
Now, like most people my age and in my situation, namely cynical college students pursuing a liberal arts degree, I don't get offended often. No, usually the more offensive something is the harder I guffaw or chortle, depending on the barometric pressure on that particular day. For instance, Prussian Blue made me giggle a bit when I saw them doing square dances in a swastika marked out on the floor. The markee of said swastika was most likely a blind rhesus monkey suffering from Parkinsons, seeing as the swastika was all askew on a linoleum floor that has perfectly fine ingrained lines provided. That's just my highly-educated guess. Another example would be the segment SomethingAwful did once on jokes with realistic endings. An example:
Pure. Unadulterated. Comedic. Genius.
Something infamous in our recent history did cause me a bit of offense, though. A little woman in Florida who experienced a medical condition not unheard of in these times was catapulted to the forefront of news when her atrophied and listless viscera made it on to the nightly news in one more battle for the so-called "right to life." We all sat, captivated by the slight stream of salivation that was born under her tongue and rolled its way across her face to a waiting napkin or other absorbent paper material held by a loving hand. We watched, heartbroken, as her emotionless face twitched ceaselessly and stared ahead with those vacant, non-seeing eyes of hers.
Terry Schiavo offended me to no end. Why? Well, every court in the nation that a Schiavo case was in (I, II, III, and IV) was held in ruled that she was in a "persistent vegetative state." For those of you out there that doesn't know what that means, Terry's parents included, that means she's a brain-dead, non-reactionary, non-feeling, non-speaking body that doesn't know its time to die has long past. So, taking into account that the courts ruled she was brain dead, her husband claimed she was brain dead, and most neurological doctors, excluding the ones paid to say otherwise, all said she was brain dead it should have been an open and shut case of medical something or another.
No, of course it couldn't. That pesky pro-life argument had to pop up here, and this is exactly why I got offended. Comparing a fully functional, thinking, feeling, seeing, laughing, loving human being to what Terry Schiavo became is an offense to sentient life in this universe. Saying that this...
...is the same as this...
...should be totally offensive to everyone who can read, write, speak, move, play, screw, tan, work, think, or love.
Besides, the whole argument could have easily been solved by looking at another point. She got that way due to bulimia-induced coma. She already made it pretty damn clear she didn't want to eat.
Now, like most people my age and in my situation, namely cynical college students pursuing a liberal arts degree, I don't get offended often. No, usually the more offensive something is the harder I guffaw or chortle, depending on the barometric pressure on that particular day. For instance, Prussian Blue made me giggle a bit when I saw them doing square dances in a swastika marked out on the floor. The markee of said swastika was most likely a blind rhesus monkey suffering from Parkinsons, seeing as the swastika was all askew on a linoleum floor that has perfectly fine ingrained lines provided. That's just my highly-educated guess. Another example would be the segment SomethingAwful did once on jokes with realistic endings. An example:
Jesus is hanging on the cross and John approaches.
John says: "Jesus, its John. How may I serve thee ain thy time of need?"
Jesus replies: "YEEEAAAAAAAARGGHGGGHGGHGGGHGGHGGH!!!!!"
Pure. Unadulterated. Comedic. Genius.
Something infamous in our recent history did cause me a bit of offense, though. A little woman in Florida who experienced a medical condition not unheard of in these times was catapulted to the forefront of news when her atrophied and listless viscera made it on to the nightly news in one more battle for the so-called "right to life." We all sat, captivated by the slight stream of salivation that was born under her tongue and rolled its way across her face to a waiting napkin or other absorbent paper material held by a loving hand. We watched, heartbroken, as her emotionless face twitched ceaselessly and stared ahead with those vacant, non-seeing eyes of hers.
Terry Schiavo offended me to no end. Why? Well, every court in the nation that a Schiavo case was in (I, II, III, and IV) was held in ruled that she was in a "persistent vegetative state." For those of you out there that doesn't know what that means, Terry's parents included, that means she's a brain-dead, non-reactionary, non-feeling, non-speaking body that doesn't know its time to die has long past. So, taking into account that the courts ruled she was brain dead, her husband claimed she was brain dead, and most neurological doctors, excluding the ones paid to say otherwise, all said she was brain dead it should have been an open and shut case of medical something or another.
No, of course it couldn't. That pesky pro-life argument had to pop up here, and this is exactly why I got offended. Comparing a fully functional, thinking, feeling, seeing, laughing, loving human being to what Terry Schiavo became is an offense to sentient life in this universe. Saying that this...
...is the same as this...
...should be totally offensive to everyone who can read, write, speak, move, play, screw, tan, work, think, or love.
Besides, the whole argument could have easily been solved by looking at another point. She got that way due to bulimia-induced coma. She already made it pretty damn clear she didn't want to eat.
posted by .venganza. at
10:50 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home