An Open Letter to Jack Hues
Dear Mr. Hues;
During the 1980s, the entire world fell into a form of postmodern disrepair on a level unmatched since the advent of Generation X. We returned to a stronger, less friendly form of conservatism and proceeded to indulge ourselves in some of the most gluttonous and decadent practices known to man. Cocaine was consumed more than ever as more of a testament to sums of liquid capital rather than a need for a high, perfume was bought in OPEC-standard barrels for use in one night, and cars got more gallons per mile than vice versa. Hyperbole? Yes. Unnecessarily overdone? Not at all.
This brings me to you, Mr. Hues. There are many unanswered questions from the 80s which plague us to this very day. How did Reagan go from being union chief to das uberkonservative? What made the jackets Winner Only? Headbands? Shoulderpads? Pastel suits? New Coke? McDonalds in Moscow? MULLETS?! GERALDO?! DONAHUE?! PHIL COLLINS?!
Simply put sir, there are too many questions left unanswered from that decade. I have started an organizations, Citizens for the Acquisition of Resolution to the Eighties (CARE), membership numbering one thus far. As the self-explanatory name shows, the main mission of this group is to seek answers to these unanswered questions from our recent past. This is why we've (I've) come to you, Mr. Hues. In 1979, you started a band with Nick Feldman named Wang Chung, Chinese for "perfect pitch." For a while, your band languished in mediocrity until approached by William Friedkin to score his movie To Live and Die in LA. It was here that your band took off in the US charts. Then, you recorded your album entitled Mosaic. On it, you had three singles, two of which were "Let's Go," and "Hypnotize Me."
It was your best single to date that came off of this album. It reached #2 on the Hot US 100, #4 on the US Dance, and #25 on Rock, an impressive ecumenical hit. The name of this song, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" has one famous line which has caused great men of thought and simple men of work much thought and perplexment. It has caused bodhisattvas on mountaintops to meditate on it for years, and crass athiests in alleys and on streetcorners to create a web of profanity that surely caresses the Van Allen belts. Your line, the one that has created such an impact in the world, is such:
Mr. Hues, this lyric has caused everything from emergency meetings of the National Security council to prolonged discussions amongst pretentious college students in coffee shops. The heavens quake in fear and the seas are silent in awe at the potential meaning of this cryptic lyric. Theology as we know it may hinge its very existence on the esoteric knowledge you have imparted to us through the seemingly-innocent and seemingly-unintelligent means of post-punk synth-pop. The usage of hyphens within my previous statement pales in comparison to your unknown lyric.
Mr. Hues, you owe it to the world to disclose the meaning of this lyric, as profane or divine as it might be, to the masses of the world. We have waited, we have debated, we have lost enough sleep to garner the answer. Please, Mr. Hues. tell us....
How does one Wang Chung?
Sincerely,
Daniel R. Green
During the 1980s, the entire world fell into a form of postmodern disrepair on a level unmatched since the advent of Generation X. We returned to a stronger, less friendly form of conservatism and proceeded to indulge ourselves in some of the most gluttonous and decadent practices known to man. Cocaine was consumed more than ever as more of a testament to sums of liquid capital rather than a need for a high, perfume was bought in OPEC-standard barrels for use in one night, and cars got more gallons per mile than vice versa. Hyperbole? Yes. Unnecessarily overdone? Not at all.
This brings me to you, Mr. Hues. There are many unanswered questions from the 80s which plague us to this very day. How did Reagan go from being union chief to das uberkonservative? What made the jackets Winner Only? Headbands? Shoulderpads? Pastel suits? New Coke? McDonalds in Moscow? MULLETS?! GERALDO?! DONAHUE?! PHIL COLLINS?!
Simply put sir, there are too many questions left unanswered from that decade. I have started an organizations, Citizens for the Acquisition of Resolution to the Eighties (CARE), membership numbering one thus far. As the self-explanatory name shows, the main mission of this group is to seek answers to these unanswered questions from our recent past. This is why we've (I've) come to you, Mr. Hues. In 1979, you started a band with Nick Feldman named Wang Chung, Chinese for "perfect pitch." For a while, your band languished in mediocrity until approached by William Friedkin to score his movie To Live and Die in LA. It was here that your band took off in the US charts. Then, you recorded your album entitled Mosaic. On it, you had three singles, two of which were "Let's Go," and "Hypnotize Me."
It was your best single to date that came off of this album. It reached #2 on the Hot US 100, #4 on the US Dance, and #25 on Rock, an impressive ecumenical hit. The name of this song, "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" has one famous line which has caused great men of thought and simple men of work much thought and perplexment. It has caused bodhisattvas on mountaintops to meditate on it for years, and crass athiests in alleys and on streetcorners to create a web of profanity that surely caresses the Van Allen belts. Your line, the one that has created such an impact in the world, is such:
Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
Mr. Hues, this lyric has caused everything from emergency meetings of the National Security council to prolonged discussions amongst pretentious college students in coffee shops. The heavens quake in fear and the seas are silent in awe at the potential meaning of this cryptic lyric. Theology as we know it may hinge its very existence on the esoteric knowledge you have imparted to us through the seemingly-innocent and seemingly-unintelligent means of post-punk synth-pop. The usage of hyphens within my previous statement pales in comparison to your unknown lyric.
Mr. Hues, you owe it to the world to disclose the meaning of this lyric, as profane or divine as it might be, to the masses of the world. We have waited, we have debated, we have lost enough sleep to garner the answer. Please, Mr. Hues. tell us....
How does one Wang Chung?
Sincerely,
Daniel R. Green
posted by .venganza. at
9:45 PM
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