Knowledge from Jimmy John Liautaud

Everyone knows that the Vito with hot peppers at Jimmy John's is the most compelling argument for a loving deity ever mustered by the mind of any man, but the sub shop is absolutely amazing (Probably right now because they are blasting Guns 'N Roses so loud that I have a toothache now). The atmosphere (We don't give a shit, just have some good food), location (Dickson FTW), and workers are.....baller.

This did it for me though. I've been reading this on the wall at Jimmy John's:

16 Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years to Learn

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
2. If you had to identify, in a single word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will acheive, its full potential, that word would be meetings
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them
5. You should not confuse your career with your life
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe we are above average drivers.
13. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyways
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Final thought for the day: Men are like fine wane. That start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the snot out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

And that's why I don't go to Subway.

They're playing Warren Zevon now. Arrrrrooooooouuuuu!